Saturday, April 17, 2010

1:04:00 PM

this dumb dumb girl who cant wake up in the morning for work. woke up late then end up not going to work. nyehnyeh. sat at home, online with boyfie.. plan where to go later on..gonna catch a movie, KICKASS. wee~~! will update again once ive return home.
naughty me,didnt appear for work but, going out soon. hehe. gonna take pictures. wana upload.. hehe. ouhh. im missing him now.

im kinda tired. what if.~~ i nap in for a few minutes. ummz. nope. no cant do. i'll wake at 6 pm. haha. no way. today is a date with darling. =).

what i love about weekend; my boyfiee is having his day off.

what i dont enjoy during weekend; i still have to work and most of the places are crowded. i so hate going to crowded places. im small but i need big space to breathe. hee.

some found picture in my lappy. i miss my long hair !!

thankz to ewan . im waiting for y hair to grow grow grow! =)

till then, later at nigth i'll update again.

toodles!

heart; fyaziela.

Labels: date with bf.

12:07:00 AM

FyaZieLa MyStiQiLa

im so in love with my own name. which i kinda edit it. haha.

i love my red red hair. i dont even wish to dye it to black. super waste my money. tisk.
tomorrow will be meeting boyfie ;). i miss him soooo much. well, relationship are bound to have arguments. and ya, mistakes here and there. whatever happens, i still love him though sometime i show boyfie attitude problem. heh. my bad. im soory syg. yet still, i do love you . heheh.

apparently there are a few points thats kinda stuck in my head.

i dont know what i want in life
i will never change
my love ones kinda cant trust me due to my lies.
im self-centered

these are some points i get from other people about me. ummz. still wondering about it. i know i can change those bad points about myself. and i will proof to whoever i should that i have faith in myself that i still can change. =) go fazilah! haha.

i still need a full time job. iskhh. tuas and pasir ris.

BIG PROBLEM.

damn it. i always get rejected due to where i stay.. urgh. should i try PSA at CGH?.. ummz. the uniform is okay ~ la~~.. but there is a one year contract. i dont wana get involved with any bond/contract.. haiyoo... how? still not sure yet.. haha. dumb dumb you fazilah. bleah.

currently at home while boyfie love is working. in such a way im feeling, i miss him alot. but kinda abit irritated with his surroundings. and im not having any mood at all. i dont know why. the sudden mood swing. ;(..

whatever happens.
i still love you darling.

lights off.
good night. (:

Labels: i love you mimi.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

2:39:00 PM

loving you is the best thing ever happen in my life. there will always be but's here and there.
i just dont get it la. why must i be super confused over so many things. i love you so much. but you're just being too much thinking with negative thoughts. uh. im just speechless. i wana bathe now. freaking hot. sheesh.

2:26:00 PM

2:10:00 PM

im so bored at home. with my boyfriend. i dont know what should i do now. i dont have enough cash to go anywhere. i sometimes think that i should have not given my cash to someone else except my family. i dont get anything in return. i dont have the urge to ask back the money. i'm just not like asking for cash from the person. i have certain depts to pay. still not paid. i regret not paying on time instead, i spend it on worthless things. my bad. tisk. how dumb could i be. learnt my lesson aite. =)..

nah, whatever it is la okay. im the one who is darn self-centered. okay then. you're the mr. right okay?
why do i still feel lost and confused. ?
i hate this freaking feeling. it sucks.
huh. just wish i could be alone.
at the park. enjoy the wind. be alone. listening to songs. and clear my mind off. i need to find a new job. this CGH screener is killing me. the pay the whatever cut off. it sucks.

i wish wish.. i just wanted to be alone. cry my heart out.. everything that ive been keeping. i just want to let it out. it just come to a point i cant hold it anymore. as i type my feelings out, my tears are rolling down my cheek. those sadness. those feelings. those words. just sometimes i wonder who could really understand me?
even i, myself can understand. how could i ever make it up. change everything?

changing my attitude is not a simple. bad habit dies hard. slowly i change for the better. it seems that 'he' cant see my changes. uh. im just confused la. i sound so stupid. this is my life. i have my own choice. for what i want to do. what i like. does that means im thinking about myself? i love my band. why is he stoping me? huh. my parents already stopped me from going band. here you are. being one barrier to stop my passion love of music. uh. i dont get you la. am i being selfish.??

beat it la. im not going band nor am i going work. i just wana sit at pasir ris park. and just clear out my mind.
am i giving other people problems. huh. still feel so lost.
i still wana be alone.

Labels: i wana be alone. can?