Friday, January 22, 2010

2:47:00 AM

just for the moment that you though everything is fine..

there goes some stupid thoughts reveberate in my mind.. i love what im feeling and i appreaciate what i have in life.. especially my love.. i hated if my love once have doubts about me.. ya, they dont trust 'cuz u lied.. here come the protective mode.. not into posessive but just insecure..

distance far apart from my sight.. but never once far apart from my life and heart.. i still love you..

you cant see what i do .. you could only depend on calls and text messages.. i didnt expect much from you.. maybe i do..

i could be one selfish person when im angry, in a confusion state or im tired.. i think of nobody but myself.. ummz.. maybe its real that i am self-centered at times.. i just dont realise it.. till someone open up to me and share it with me.. i appreaciate it and learn from my mistakes.. everyone make mistakes.. so, ya.. im not perfect..

am i feeling that certain past could torment my current life.. hah! im asking myself the question.. maybe yes.. maybe no.. its a 50-50 thingy.. i dont know.. for what i know, past life are meant to be just history.. and sometimes i'll burn my history book..

never once i wanted any of my history to repeat.. will pray hard that it will never happen.. by god's willing..

just hoping that none of my history torments my relationship nor my life..

btw, the toothfairy show is hilarious!!must watch!!! =)

till then

loves mystiqila

nytez.

Monday, January 4, 2010

11:15:00 PM

my emotions,feelings and attitude wise..
im kinda pissed off with someone.. in the other hand, i felt that im not being myself..
what was me months ago.. when i was attached..
i could accept everything.. now i cant.. why?
no answers.. better still, more is yet to come.. like my thoughs..
feelings.. or maybe its just my mood swings..?
i hate it if i neglected the person whom i loved..
there's is some part of me that im not happy about him..
like i know what.. but i perfer to keep it to myself..

the past.. which some of it i cant accept it..
am i being brainwashed?
guess not.. nobody did it.. well, except for my dearest family..
other that that, i would never listen to anyone..
why now this shit feelings are happening?
im hurting him.. i know..
but i cant stand his nonsense..
why cant i?
out of the sudden?
i use to love everything about him..
now its like i dont even wish to share anything with him..
i have alot of stories to share..
love to give...
but im not exposing any to him...
ya, getting pisseed of and arguments are bound to occur in any relationships..
i cant detect my main problem now..
haiz..
just feel like being alone...

nytez!