WaS It WorTh it..

2010-04-17T13:04:00.000+08:00

this dumb dumb girl who cant wake up in the morning for work. woke up late then end up not going to work. nyehnyeh. sat at home, online with boyfie.. plan where to go later on..gonna catch a movie, KICKASS. wee~~! will update again once ive return home.
naughty me,didnt appear for work but, going out soon. hehe. gonna take pictures. wana upload.. hehe. ouhh. im missing him now.

im kinda tired. what if.~~ i nap in for a few minutes. ummz. nope. no cant do. i'll wake at 6 pm. haha. no way. today is a date with darling. =).

what i love about weekend; my boyfiee is having his day off.

what i dont enjoy during weekend; i still have to work and most of the places are crowded. i so hate going to crowded places. im small but i need big space to breathe. hee.

some found picture in my lappy. i miss my long hair !!

thankz to ewan . im waiting for y hair to grow grow grow! =)

till then, later at nigth i'll update again.

toodles!

heart; fyaziela.

2010-04-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

FyaZieLa MyStiQiLa

im so in love with my own name. which i kinda edit it. haha.

i love my red red hair. i dont even wish to dye it to black. super waste my money. tisk.
tomorrow will be meeting boyfie ;). i miss him soooo much. well, relationship are bound to have arguments. and ya, mistakes here and there. whatever happens, i still love him though sometime i show boyfie attitude problem. heh. my bad. im soory syg. yet still, i do love you . heheh.

apparently there are a few points thats kinda stuck in my head.

i dont know what i want in life
i will never change
my love ones kinda cant trust me due to my lies.
im self-centered

these are some points i get from other people about me. ummz. still wondering about it. i know i can change those bad points about myself. and i will proof to whoever i should that i have faith in myself that i still can change. =) go fazilah! haha.

i still need a full time job. iskhh. tuas and pasir ris.

BIG PROBLEM.

damn it. i always get rejected due to where i stay.. urgh. should i try PSA at CGH?.. ummz. the uniform is okay ~ la~~.. but there is a one year contract. i dont wana get involved with any bond/contract.. haiyoo... how? still not sure yet.. haha. dumb dumb you fazilah. bleah.

currently at home while boyfie love is working. in such a way im feeling, i miss him alot. but kinda abit irritated with his surroundings. and im not having any mood at all. i dont know why. the sudden mood swing. ;(..

whatever happens.
i still love you darling.

lights off.
good night. (:

2010-04-10T14:39:00.000+08:00

loving you is the best thing ever happen in my life. there will always be but's here and there.
i just dont get it la. why must i be super confused over so many things. i love you so much. but you're just being too much thinking with negative thoughts. uh. im just speechless. i wana bathe now. freaking hot. sheesh.

2010-04-10T14:26:00.000+08:00

2010-04-10T14:10:00.000+08:00

im so bored at home. with my boyfriend. i dont know what should i do now. i dont have enough cash to go anywhere. i sometimes think that i should have not given my cash to someone else except my family. i dont get anything in return. i dont have the urge to ask back the money. i'm just not like asking for cash from the person. i have certain depts to pay. still not paid. i regret not paying on time instead, i spend it on worthless things. my bad. tisk. how dumb could i be. learnt my lesson aite. =)..

nah, whatever it is la okay. im the one who is darn self-centered. okay then. you're the mr. right okay?
why do i still feel lost and confused. ?
i hate this freaking feeling. it sucks.
huh. just wish i could be alone.
at the park. enjoy the wind. be alone. listening to songs. and clear my mind off. i need to find a new job. this CGH screener is killing me. the pay the whatever cut off. it sucks.

i wish wish.. i just wanted to be alone. cry my heart out.. everything that ive been keeping. i just want to let it out. it just come to a point i cant hold it anymore. as i type my feelings out, my tears are rolling down my cheek. those sadness. those feelings. those words. just sometimes i wonder who could really understand me?
even i, myself can understand. how could i ever make it up. change everything?

changing my attitude is not a simple. bad habit dies hard. slowly i change for the better. it seems that 'he' cant see my changes. uh. im just confused la. i sound so stupid. this is my life. i have my own choice. for what i want to do. what i like. does that means im thinking about myself? i love my band. why is he stoping me? huh. my parents already stopped me from going band. here you are. being one barrier to stop my passion love of music. uh. i dont get you la. am i being selfish.??

beat it la. im not going band nor am i going work. i just wana sit at pasir ris park. and just clear out my mind.
am i giving other people problems. huh. still feel so lost.
i still wana be alone.

2010-02-26T19:28:00.000+08:00

double date was fantastic though we didnt plan well, it turns out to be great.

catch a movie, the woflman. i hate the killing part.

then head down to esplande to chill, the boring part was..im having curfew.(BORING)

around 11+ i was heading home.

this is the straight forward story.the full story is still yet to come. haha. if im bothered to explain everything in details. haha.

overall we should had more places to go. last minute plans. haha.

love the date. and my boyfie. <3

2010-02-24T01:13:00.000+08:00

2010-02-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

ive promised myself not to be hurting you. promised to mend my ways.

yes im a very loud person, chatty, irritating and all.

its been a habit for me, and im trying to change. maybe to me it is. but its a straight NO from my surroundings.

getting harsh words from someone whom i loved is just shitty.

i lost the trust that i was given over one idiot person. i regret it, its too late. i cant turn back the time.

i wish you to rake about the past. eventually its hurting you devastatedly. for all of those words you've said. for all of those times that me or you could ever get hurt. i still love you with my whole heart, and its not a lie nor a joke. may those words be hurting me deep inside. never once i would ever think that i wana leave you.

huh, im just so speechless.

am i being reasonable? ill-treating u? ummz.

nah. im out of words ah. ~~fuck~~ it ah. im so ~~blank~~.

nothing to say anymore.

2010-02-22T17:52:00.000+08:00

spiderweb here and there. currently im at aidah house. shes on her bed. trying to sleep. im waiting for my boyfiee to fetch me later at night. its the first time me chilling, so called with aidah. 1st time chilling at her house la sey.
i think shes texting tutit. haha. my boyfiee bestie. something is going between her and tutit.
haha, ok nothing much. just feel like updating. miss you boyfie.

its about you and me

2010-01-22T02:47:00.001+08:00

just for the moment that you though everything is fine..

there goes some stupid thoughts reveberate in my mind.. i love what im feeling and i appreaciate what i have in life.. especially my love.. i hated if my love once have doubts about me.. ya, they dont trust 'cuz u lied.. here come the protective mode.. not into posessive but just insecure..

distance far apart from my sight.. but never once far apart from my life and heart.. i still love you..

you cant see what i do .. you could only depend on calls and text messages.. i didnt expect much from you.. maybe i do..

i could be one selfish person when im angry, in a confusion state or im tired.. i think of nobody but myself.. ummz.. maybe its real that i am self-centered at times.. i just dont realise it.. till someone open up to me and share it with me.. i appreaciate it and learn from my mistakes.. everyone make mistakes.. so, ya.. im not perfect..

am i feeling that certain past could torment my current life.. hah! im asking myself the question.. maybe yes.. maybe no.. its a 50-50 thingy.. i dont know.. for what i know, past life are meant to be just history.. and sometimes i'll burn my history book..

never once i wanted any of my history to repeat.. will pray hard that it will never happen.. by god's willing..

just hoping that none of my history torments my relationship nor my life..

btw, the toothfairy show is hilarious!!must watch!!! =)

till then

loves mystiqila

nytez.

2010-01-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

my emotions,feelings and attitude wise..
im kinda pissed off with someone.. in the other hand, i felt that im not being myself..
what was me months ago.. when i was attached..
i could accept everything.. now i cant.. why?
no answers.. better still, more is yet to come.. like my thoughs..
feelings.. or maybe its just my mood swings..?
i hate it if i neglected the person whom i loved..
there's is some part of me that im not happy about him..
like i know what.. but i perfer to keep it to myself..

the past.. which some of it i cant accept it..
am i being brainwashed?
guess not.. nobody did it.. well, except for my dearest family..
other that that, i would never listen to anyone..
why now this shit feelings are happening?
im hurting him.. i know..
but i cant stand his nonsense..
why cant i?
out of the sudden?
i use to love everything about him..
now its like i dont even wish to share anything with him..
i have alot of stories to share..
love to give...
but im not exposing any to him...
ya, getting pisseed of and arguments are bound to occur in any relationships..
i cant detect my main problem now..
haiz..
just feel like being alone...

nytez!

2009-12-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

At times when you are in love.. beautiful moments will always be captured..

advices are meant to keep in mind..

trusting your partner must be efficient..

never desist your partner's love nor trust..

as for me..

umzz..

his the only one who will and has been judging while observing me..

we've been having the happiest time ever..

i wont be suprised if we were to shed tears one fine day..

laughter brought us bonding together..

our similarities, our thoughts, our love and passion..

might not be difficult fathom..

both of us has good clairvoyance...

that's all for now..

i'll update again..

=)..

When you leaned over and you kissed me..

I felt my knees went so weak...
till I couldn't even speak...

With a passion flowing soo free...

Sparks flew that i could really see...

A touch so soft and tender...

A kiss that I would always remember...

I'm sure I kissed you back...

With the fire no kiss should lack...

You pulled away and laid back...

Out of the blue i felt i want it more...

My soul you that you've explored...

My heart no longer full of pain...
Darling,please do kiss me once again...

some words are meant to hurt our feelings.. but in the other hand, its a good thing that harsh words been brought up.. especially to a stubborn,hardheaded girl like me.. i spend most of my time reacting without thinking of the conquences that gona happen later.. i still have the mindset to enjoy my life.. 'cuz we only live young once.. but, i have the tendacy to have no limits when im enjoying with my friends.. never even think about going home or even thinking that my beloved family is worried about the daughter is out late at night...
till something happened at home and i started thinking about everthing.. then the next day my man shoot me with some sense again.. and i that's where i saw the meaning of worried..

im just feeling that its good if i have someone who could crack my head and add sense in it.. haha.. i have a very strong feeling that my man can do it well enough.. haha..

loves
*MyStiQiLa*

2009-12-14T18:42:00.001+08:00

spiderweb here and there.....
been busy with work la seyyy.....
now im working at CGH as temperature screener.. its freaking fun working there with the peeps..
nah.. actually i have nothing much these days to update.. im looking forward for my new relationship..
waiting for new jobs.. for my car licence.. whats next??? save money to get myself my dream car....
my family is kinda having the thoughts of getting me enganged..izzint it too fast... ??
its not even a month pass by for me to get enganged... they was planning to get me enganged the next two years.. ARGHHHHHH~~~~~~!!....... ssooooo..... toooooooo early~~~!!! well, like my man ENJOY saying ' DONT SPEAK TOO SOON BABY'.... ummmzz.... so i wont say muchh.. haha...

ive been going late night with my man... my friends.. and my man.. haha.. its kinda difficult to meet him due to the fact that he is staying a distance away from me.. yet still we never fail to spare our time to meet each other.. from the west side to the east.. how sweet could he be..=)..

ive cut my hair.. damn short.concave.. its my boyfiee request.. since im so pissed off with my long hair.. so..tada.. my man's requst has been fulfiled... i bet his cheering with joy in him.. to be looking at me with the hair.. ummzz..

"wHen i'm BorN lEt TheM laUgH..
WhIle I cRy N wHen I dIe Let theM cRy..WheN i SmIle N LovE SeEms To B a ThoUsAnD mIleS aWay TheN let e B ForEveR IN Ur EyeS EvERyDaY.."

this was what he posted at my facebook.. i have a poem for eu too darl...

" when i look in your eyes...
the first move you would wana see are my smiles..
when your lips touches my skin..
i felt your love and wonder 'for all this while,where have you been'..
'cuz i knew that you're my man that i've been searching..
when you stare at me with your romantic eyes and say ' i love you baby'..
i'll glance your eyes and whisper to your ears ' i love you too honey'..
i'll never desists my love for you...
as i trust you and i'll stick with you like a glue..
lastly i wana say i love you.."

till then i'll update again....=)

2009-11-20T23:56:00.000+08:00

last wednesday was my graduation day.. oh, my CPTC graduation day laaa...
went to school... was like errr... school? haha... came school just to take the cert & tkae pictures and thats all.. yet still, my cert is still with mimi... damn.. when are you gona give me back my cert???? huh??
ok, pictures time.. nothing much to update okayyy...

i stop here for now.. im kinda tired of waiting for the pictures to upload.. damn too many la
seyyy...
btw..working at CGH as temperature screener..
soo great!..easy job..fun..and relax..=))

i miss you darl! waiting for next week...
=))

2009-11-15T20:38:00.000+08:00

yesterday perfromance was fantastic.. not much detail to add on and not much pictures was taken.. most importantly we did a good job and well, comments was ' you guys did a performed like professional ' from the president of the disabled commitee.. and she told me in person.. wow.. i was shocked when she told me that she was the president.. haha.. ok, soon after my performance i meet mimi.. went out him on a date..
chey date la seyy.. haha.. went to watch movie with him and went shesha'ing with him.. till late night.. haha..
ok, nothing much to update.. im at home, i ditch work today 'cuz im simply too tired and my mum asked me to stay at home.. so, ya im a good girl who listen to my mum.. aww..(im bragging arent i)..

i cant upload other pictures..
which i've no idea why.. but, i think i'll update other time.. haha!!
=))..

btw,
i miss my boyfiee! love you darl!

2009-11-13T00:37:00.000+08:00

been awhile again..since ive updated.. i dont have the the time in the world to update my blog everyday nor suft the net.. and im missing myself surfing,chatting and stuffs.. ive been working too much... OMG im like in the category of work+holic. damn.. most of my friends asked me ' why are you like busy always and dont have time for friends and chill out and stuffs..kept on working as if there's no life in you aint more..you're getting married huh?' mot of my friends shoot out those words to me.. well, its just that i prefer making use of my spacious time to work then waste time and money. i dont find any benefit behind it.. i do wana enjoy my life.. but , in the other hand.. i need to save money for my own usage.. if there's no savings nor any cash , will any of us enjoy? i doubt so. so, im saving up for my licences.. my BIRTHDAY..haha..

few days back, i went of with my bestie teha.. we went out to suntec then cityhall.. well, the 2 of us only.. its been.. llike.. months eversince we went out together and only us ...we took pictures and talk..girls talk.. about our past.. our memories.. everything.. we've never kept secret between each other.. well, what do you expect.. BESTIES..haha!!..

there are more pictures actually.. but im kinda tired now.. i need my rest..
till then, when im free.. i'll update!
awaits 18november!

meet dearie earlier today...fetch me from work....then send me to sch...
then send me home.. aww..his sooo sweet! haha! yet still miss him..=))
sweet dreams darling.. have a good long rest..
love you!

2009-11-06T18:48:00.000+08:00

its been days ever since ive updated.. i was busy again..with school..work..and now.. boyfiee..(opss)
im attached! haha.. sounds crazy..yes i realised it..but im attached.. OMG.. i myself didnt realised it..
ok,enough of the 'im attached' thingy..

teha birthday night out was.. fantastic.. our double date.. we meet as the singapore flyer.. as usual im late.. my boyfiee was driving..yet still we was still late..haha! we ate at madam link.. soo not nice ok!.. soon after that, we chill at the top.. the scenary was romantic.. we took pictures and all.. then we proceed to sheesha'ing... the place that teha choose was kinda..erm.. no comments la.. i was just following the birthday girl.. so, ya.. everything went as per plan..(last min).. as long she's happy, i'll be delighted to glance at her smile.. she will be my one and only bestie since sec sch.. i love you teha..=)..*wink2*..

few days back.. its all about me and my darling..
went out with him till late night.. catch a movie..
easy said.. i spend time with him this whole week..
other then me spending time with my boyfiee...

i did nothing.. haha.. its all about me and him..
ouh, i followed him to his capoiera practice..
he breaks.. and his moves was soo..fuhh!!!
its like..'never stop falling in love' thingy..haaha!!

then today.. its my mum's birthday..
will be celebrating tomorrow..
at hotel restaurant..fuhh.. gona be high class...
and pictures will be uploading soon! woohoo!!
im going out meeting teha..soon..
yeah!

loves MyStiQiLA

love you darl..

till next week our dating mania again..

miss you alot!=)

*muaks2*

2009-11-01T14:06:00.001+08:00

this post would be my three days of happeningss!!

after my busy days.. with work and school.. i was on da way home.. and guess whatt!!!! i meet teha along the way.. ouhhh... missed her soo much.. seriously i do.. hugged her and kissed her and all...talked with her liked we always do.. share our problems and exchanged advises.. i missed the old times with her.. next week, its her birthday.. im going on a double date!! its gona be fun.. it sure will be..

1stly. on wednesday.. at work i saw sheikh haikal( i dont know how to spell his name k).. then thursday i saw suhaimi yusof..at swensens..im wondering who would i see next..haha..on friday, i saw people dressed up in costumes.. freakyy.....

On sat was the best day ever with my friends and someone special.. well, it was saturday.. what else would i be having on saturday is jazz band practice..so.. soon after that, i went out with liza.. went town with her .. she know's that im not into shopping much.. i dont go around being obsessed over a.. watch? ear rings? nope.. i might like it.. but wont get obsessed over it.. thankz to her, at the end of the day i've realised that i was obsessed over things that are bound for me to get all over with it..OMG!! kak liza.. thats fact.. hahah.. before we started window shopping.. we meet wirdani at her work place at orchard ion..body shop.. hugged her and all.. kinda missed her.. yes i do.. and haha!! im goin on a date with her.. haha! i meant another double date.. OMG.. haha.. ouhh ya.. zul was with us too.. how could i forget him...=(.. sooryyy zull..haha... but he tagged along till ion only.. 'cuz his meeting his friend and going to catch a movie....
soon after he left.. it was just me and liza..we was kinda otw to erm.. taka? i think.. and there's these two druken( i think) american guys came along and talked with us.. asked us..' hey ladies, are we the only american here?'.. i answerd 'no'.. well.. he asked me where is the best place to club... OMG.. wrong person to ask la seyy... i aint a clubber... haha.. then i followed liza... went so called her shopping..haha.. window shopping la.. waited till 10 pm.. meet wirdani at taka.. and guess who i saw! nasrul..(abg2) haha!! he was participating on the subaru challenge..haha.. i took his picture! haha..

thats him alright! shievering to half-way most death i suppose...haha...im soo bad..hhaha!!

soon after that.. im meeting someone who i.. erm.. special la ok... i wont say who.. around 1am.. so, i kinda send liza home at wew tee.. chill with her under her block.. then, he fetched me at wew tee.. ouhh.. his sooo sweet!! hahah!! you all dont know who!! hahaha!!! only shikin and yati would know.. secret okayy!!! i trust you.. =))... then we proceed to marina square.. to meet his friends..there was soo freaking alot of road closed! he ended up driving round and round i dont know where! haha.. when we reached at the padang... was just about to get out of the car.. his friends told him to process to yishun damp..haha!! so, we proceed there... and ya.. i missed him alot.. haha.. 'cuz i rarely meet him euu know.. hahah!! then he send me home.. hehe..

well.. thats all for now.. there is one part i missed.. about me and liza in the train.. haha!! that was soo embarrasing eu know!

loves mystiqila

ps; uve never been alone beating our lovely music..

:))

love you.and miss you alot..

2009-10-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

karaoke'ing with my bestie, shahira was a blast! well, frankly earlier today everything was soo cork up.. was about to cancel the plans.. then the others was like finishing school late.. & i took an OFF day from work just to enjoy with my friends.. so, i told ira.. why not just the two of us go karaoke.. if there's me & her its enough nuisance that we are bound to create..hhaa... and guess what~~! her brother told her that we only need to pay for the drinks which is 5 bucks.. not included 10% GST.. and whatsoever ++.. total up, its $22.15..i was like '????' .. what the hell? well luckily we had money to pay it up.. well, somesort it was worth it.. it was classy.. ummz.. we sang like two idiots.. till we almost lose our voice.. haha.. ira was like complaning alot.. i SAY IT AGAIN.. **ALOT**.. yet still, i do love her *ALOT* and we had our craziest time back there.. haha.. pictures~~~!!!

2009-10-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

yes my dearly friends, at last im updating~! haha.. and i will be constantly updating aitez?
its my promise.. about the pictures and all.. by end of the week.. 'cuz my camera is not with me.. hehe..
today at work.. haha.. i was the setter..
setter : arrange cutleries for the customers..
easy job ? yup it is.. but when it comes to having swensens FULL HOUSE.. i'll be stress out !!
like what happened earlier on.. i was stress out.. too many customers.. and i was like in a rush arranging the utensils.. darn it.. hhaa.. now im at home resting .. but the main motto is to have fun while working.. and yup, been always having fun during work~!..

i found out that im missing someone .. it sounds crazy to me.. im just wondering why am i missing him? i dont think so we had any chemistry.. or.. do we? ummz...
its still a mystery in my mind.. why am i having weird feelings and definite weird thoughts.. should i share out with my friends? i dont think so its a good idea.. haha~! its just between me , myself and i.. hhaa.. maybe between him too.. haha.. am i being confused? i do sound confused.. well, i obviously need help.. advises anyone?

why am i missing a close friend..? when we are just friends? to my cpt mates.. its not who you think it would be aitez.. dont be mistaken .. i need my kakak to advise me~~!! she would know better.. =)).. yet still.. im still missing him.. sounds soo weird... i still cant accept the fact.. ummz...

ive been very caution with who im mixing around with.. it could be my true friend and it could be my foe..
being single and away from my ex;saiful.. been the greatest months ever.. i swear im not lying.. hhaaha~!! but if falling in love again.. and i ended up getting hurt .. well, those are the time that sucks.. i hate it.. as in alot! so far, im moving on.. trying not to get any love thingy on sight.. nor near me.. but it seems that whenever im trying to run away from reality about guys waiting for me or wanting to get to know me, it turns out there'll be more waiting in the queue.. im not bragging about myself or watsoever you guys are thinking.. im really trying my best not to put up a good behaviour in order not to get guys wanting to stick with me like a glue..
im not into guys ** im not a lesbian** just not ready for love and relationship.. just wana have fun and appreaciate my life.. but, if i were to appreaciate my life.. i have to fact reality about guys too.. which is what i dont wana face it.. huhz.. im just making myself confused.. plus this weird feelings and thoughts.. darn it..
whatever it is, my birthday is around the corner.. next month.. what should i do on that special day of mine??!! hehe.. still thinking.. will be planning soon with my close friends.. or maybe on a date.. haha! lets see who would surprise me..hhaha~~!! im soo loving it~!

i should get my rest now.. goodnight.. till then..i'll update againn...

* loves mystiqila *

2009-10-25T16:43:00.002+08:00

it was a date i had..
with someone..
we shared everything.. our darkest secrets, our unsolved problems..
unexpected visitor came during that night.. that made everything special..
that night was wonderful, mysterious , full of laughter..
its was a memoriable night...

thank you..for a wonderful night..
=))

2009-10-25T14:36:00.001+08:00

1stly, ive changed my blog due to my memory loss..haha..
im joking, its been awhile eversince ive logged in my blog till i kinda forget my username & password..
weird huh?.. umzz..

all this while that ive not been updating, im like currently observing weirdness in my life.. which kinda makes me confused and devastated.. which im trying to figure out those mysteries thats been happening now..
after those advises liza gave me, i realised where do i stand now.. who is my friends & foe.. eversince my questions in my mind has been answered, now im back on track.. =).. there are tons of pictures that i would wana upload.. im still thinking.. should i? should i not? ummzz...

these are the hari raya pictures.. that are with me...
im not holding my camera..soooo....
some other time i update.....

these are some pictures when i was out with danial..or should i say haiqal? haha...
its the same though..